We can't live ethically congruent lives all the time -- give yourself a break (Megan).
Finally, I would just like expand on Sara's point, about noticing the little things around you, particularly talking in class. This is also something I started to notice once a study had been brought before me stating the boys had more talking time and were called on more often, than girls. What was most alarming for me, was when I was a TA and had to direct a class of 20 students each week. In this class time, I started to notice how the 4 boys that were in my class did start to dominate the discussion. But how do we start to control for these sorts of things? I for one, have started to value my own opinion and speak up in class, make myself heard. But is this the wrong tactic? Am I just becoming the voice that doesn't let others speak? How do we create a conversation in class that allows all voices to be heard? And, how do we do this in a feminist way, rather than the rather masculinist approach I've adopted? Also, how do (and should) we let others know when they are creating a space where they are silencing others?
Going off the the 'arms-crossed' discussion from class:
ReplyDeleteThe way I think about talking in class is to think about taking up space. The same thing applies to the 'I don't know' syndrome. Coming from a society that, at large, teaches us to be care-takers and put ourselves last, if at all, we learn not to take up too much space. I've read about that applying to literal space as well. For instance, in class we talked about guys leaning forward and engaging in conversation almost aggressively, and we think the girls sit back and don't say a much (or if they do say as much it has different implications). Think about it: if you're sitting straight up, knees apart, projecting your voice, you're taking up more space than someone who has her shoulders bent in, is crossing her legs, and talking softly. This is the most interesting when you look at heterosexual couples on couches. Not every young man sits the way I describe, nor does every young woman, but I do think the talking in class situation has to do with taking up space, something we're taught is unlady like
One of my friends uses the "step up, step back" method in class. He asks people who usually contribute a lot to "step back," and people who usually don't say much to "step up." He revisits this concept throughout the semester to see if that's really happening...usually asking people to be mindful helps.
ReplyDeleteAlso, adding to Elise's comment about space, this is true in all public settings. If I can, I try to not sit next to men on buses because I know I will more than likely have my space coopted. Planes are worse! I know I paid for a whole seat, but if I sit next to a conventionally masculine man, I know I'm probably not going to get what little leg room I shelled out for. I have worked very hard to teach my body to take up more space, but I am still working up the guts to demand more space when it's invaded in transportation settings.